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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
Make your girlfriend scream your name, leave the toilet seat up.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.