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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....