Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
If u cant live without me, why aren`t you dead yet.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
I want one of those jobs where people ask, “Do you actually get paid for doing this?”
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
Today`s the day I like to sneak onto the intercom at Walmart and say "would Jason Voorhees please report to aisle 13."
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.