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Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
So apparently the numbers on the toaster are minutes? I`ve thought for years it was degree of toasty-ness.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.