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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
"I didn`t get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
"The Twilight Zone" makes me long for the days when you could smoke on a spaceship.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.