Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.
Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.