Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
Never piss off the person that cooks your dinner ... EVER!
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.