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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
It`s Saturday morning. My neighbor has mowed his lawn AND weeded his garden. I`ve spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."