Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was laying down, looking up at the stars while I was writing this post. Then it dawned on me; `Where the heck is the ceiling?`
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
I wish I had Shazam for faces...
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called " fun size" should really re-evaluate their stanards of entertainment.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................