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When I try to fold fitted sheets it looks like I’m in an infomercial that’s exaggerating how difficult it is to fold fitted sheets.
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
I`m no mathlete, but I CAN tell you that a 6 y/o running at 8 mph chasing an ice cream truck moving at 10 mph flies 7.4 ft if you trip him.
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude