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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
You are here: X
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Oh no. I thought of a brilliant status to update while taking bath but by the time I got back to my phone I forgot it. This is why I hate taking a bath.
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.