Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they`re going to expire in 2017.
So you constantly feel sorry for yourself and feel the need to tell everyone all about it. I can’t imagine why he left you.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.