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Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
My favorite beer is the 15th one.