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“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!