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Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
I`m really good at making poor decisions. You`re my favorite so far.
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.