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I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.