Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.