Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
My life coach just benched me.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
To calculate the average number of times a guy has sex per week, multiply the number of fantasy football leagues he`s in by the number zero.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.