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Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...