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My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
If the river were beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up..
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
My friend said the only vegetable that could make him cry was an onion. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of