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I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
These people keep looking at me like I`m the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
Trying to get in shape for all those people I`m not having sex with.
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels? - Bfanch
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.