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I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work