Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
You can test my patience all you want, but Iām never going to pass.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
Got a new Juicer. Going to Juice all these delicious organic vegetables I got ... then add Vodka ... Don`t judge...
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.