Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
You had me at 0 mutual friends