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Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
"Sir your phone`s ringing." "Yeah, phones do that."
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers