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I have off-road rage, too
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 8 times,......Your probably a woman.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.