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Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
So much to do and so few alibis.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
Screw your recommended serving size. You don`t know me.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.