Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
The covers of this book are too far apart.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
A homeless man comes up to me asking for change, I say "Change comes from within." He looked stunned.
The success of a marriage hinges entirely on the ability to know which of your wife’s clothing is okay to go into the dryer.
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.