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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
I wanna steal a Krispy Kreme truck and go on a high speed chase just because it`d be funny to watch a bunch of cops chase a donut truck
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Been there, done that. allegedly
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.
I can’t decide if the drinks are too weak or if my tolerance is too strong.