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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
They say love is in every corner... my life must be a f*cking circle!
Gym Update: Not there.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
My wife asked me if I knew her favorite flower was. Apparently "Gold Medal All Purpose" was not the correct response
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.