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I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.