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A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It’s like you get to undress it.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
So much to do and so few alibis.
I don`t know why I think I could survive the Zombie Apocalypse, I cant even handle the puff of air at the eye doctor.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
Volleyball is just a more intense game of "Don`t let the balloon touch the floor"