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There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.