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If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted