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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
I`m not saying I`m bilingual but if you shout at me in German I`ll probably do whatever you want
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.