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Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...