Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Exercise? More like extra fries.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
Just told my dog "Don`t walk in your own poop" and it strikes me as good advice to pass on to the rest of you as well. Please: don`t.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can`t leave messages now. That`s the kind of genius I am.