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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Me and my recliner...we go way back.