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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
Interviewer: "What did you like best about your last job?" Me: "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
Helpful Tip: Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill