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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying