Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who`s car I`m borrowing.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Being in the doghouse isn`t so bad if there`s enough beer in the bowl.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.