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Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
All milk is breast milk.
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen