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Nothing makes you feel more like a kid than the right breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms for me please!
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
Most hated song in jail: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you"......