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You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.