Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
My neighbors don`t appreciate it when I skip along the property line, singing "This Land is My Land."
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
We get it poets: things are like other things
Im at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to sh!t faster because it`s cold.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.