Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
"Please take a seat" was a bad introduction for a Kleptomaniacs` Anonymous meeting.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.