Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
Truthfully officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
I just peed so hard that I laughed a little.
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.