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Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
I was all depressed last night, so I called "Lifeline". Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
I like to track people down, knock on their front door and say "we have ten people in common on Facebook, can I come in ?"