Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.