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Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...