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first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I`m like that, but with salad.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.