Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.