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Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister